"WHAT DO WE WANT?!"
"SELF-CONFIDENCE!"
"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!"
*everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 25, 2014
Technically he was created by Dr. Cookie, that's why they call him The Cookie Monster.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 24, 2014
HOW TO FALL ASLEEP:
1. Apply clown makeup
2. Look in mirror
3. Recoil in terror & accidentally run into wall, knocking yourself unconscious— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 19, 2014
EVOLUTION IS REAL LOOK AT THIS BIRD'S SKELETON: pic.twitter.com/VcsPm0vdZg
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 18, 2014
"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
"I accidentally kept my eyes open when I sneezed and now I can taste time."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 18, 2014
10 MOST POPULAR WAYS TO SAY NO:
1) Ummmm…
2) Sure?
3) Yeah?
4) I guess!
5) Sometime!
6) Nah!
7) Nope
8) YEAH! I WLL! HA!
9) Maybe
10) Soon— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 17, 2014