When you die you head towards a light. You're gonna see a big void of darkness, you want to take a right at the void. Now go past the Arby's
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 21, 2015
"One final thing."
*biden and obama put on helmets*
"We are: Daft Punk"
*around the world starts playing*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 21, 2015
"Hi I'm Rob Lowe."
"And I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson Lowe here to explain how we can both exist in this duality."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 20, 2015
I'm worried that I'm not worried that I'm always worried.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 19, 2015
"I've always wanted to see what a horse factory looks like."
"Sir, this is a barn."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 18, 2015
*on first date*
"I'll have what she's having"
"I'm sorry sir but the lady hasn't ordered yet"
"Excellent. The check whenever you're ready"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 17, 2015