I'm like a pile of garbage floating in the ocean: on the surface you see lots of gross and disgusting stuff but underneath there's even more
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 13, 2016
If you're in your 20s, you can save yourself years of regret by simply always doing the opposite of what your brain tells you to do.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 11, 2016
Aside from church, where's your least favorite place to get dunked on?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 10, 2016
Message received, God. pic.twitter.com/PbTXkoU6kV
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 8, 2016
You're one day closer to death AND you get free cake? What’s not to like about birthdays?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2016