REST OF THE WORLD: We hope America is having an intellectual discussion about the impact of their election
U.S.: pic.twitter.com/kmDYzF79tv— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 10, 2016
If Michael Phelps eats any sort of fish at this point, it's cannibalism.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 8, 2016
Pretty sure I'll never find true love but I'll keep dating until I meet the perfect restaurant.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 5, 2016
FUNERAL INSTRUCTIONS:
* Open casket
* Free bag of tortilla chips upon entrance
* My dead hands hold the bowl of salsa— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 4, 2016
Why does the tooth have teeth? pic.twitter.com/JxJzMZB5sV
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 3, 2016
FRIEND: God has a plan for you.
ME: What's the deductible?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 2, 2016