Playboy.com was nice enough to ask me to explain what motivated me to write one of my favorite tweets and even though I hate 99.9% of what I write I was happy to oblige them because why not? Here’s the link if you’re so inclined to check it out.
Lord ? of ? the ? Rings? is ? crazy ? this ? season ?
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) April 25, 2016
"Yes, 9-1-1, I'm trying to buy some semi-automatic rifles in peace but a transgender person went in the shitter and I'm scared for my life."
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) April 23, 2016
If you do jazz hands long enough they turn into jazz arms and then someone comes and cuts them off and those are saxophones.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) April 23, 2016
Damn girl are you climate change? Cause every day you get hotter and I know eventually you’ll devastate me.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) April 22, 2016
"Imagine if Kanye replaced his ego with more talent and if you could understand Jaden Smith when he talked." -me explaining Prince to kids
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) April 22, 2016