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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Author: Sam Grittner

Posted on January 8, 2016January 15, 2016

ME: I'm feeling good today!
BRAIN: Something's wrong.
ME: No, I just said, nothing is wrong, it feels great!
BRAIN: Gimme a sec…

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 8, 2016

Posted on January 7, 2016January 15, 2016

Daft Punk revealed pic.twitter.com/QWIpl0EvNV

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 7, 2016

Posted on January 6, 2016January 7, 2016

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning conversation with the demons inside my head and they’ve had their coffee.

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 6, 2016

Posted on January 5, 2016January 7, 2016

Everything is art if you're stupid enough.

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 6, 2016

Posted on January 4, 2016January 7, 2016

How am I not an Uber driver I'm soooooo good at driving people away

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 5, 2016

Posted on January 4, 2016January 7, 2016

I do my best thinking in the shower and the worst living outside of it.

— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 4, 2016

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