plot twist: it was my first rodeo
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 8, 2015
In Russia, Dre forgets about you
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 8, 2015
I try to kiss you upside-down like Spiderman but my phone and keys and change keep falling out.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 7, 2015
Your band name is the word "the" followed by your last Google search. My band is, 'The Has Anyone Made Band Names On Twitter Using Google'
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 5, 2015
just made love to an amendment. not gonna tell which one cuz I'm classy, let's just say it's ironic that I can't say 😉
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 4, 2015
*at orgy*
"You go ahead and get started everyone I'm gonna make a playlist real quick."— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 4, 2015