My rap name is 'THE BUFFET' so don't step to me cuz you'll never stop getting served.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 21, 2013
Collect the morning dew. Bathe your soul in it. Feed a squirrel. Why did you do all that? You're late for work. Stop listening to me.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 20, 2013
He died doing what he loved: skateboarding into volcanoes.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 19, 2013
I want to do NSA jokes but I feel like they've heard them all before.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 18, 2013
If 2 Chainz leaves a club with 9 Young $ Millionaires at 1am in CA & Yeezus leaves ChiTown with No Limit, how many problems does Jay-Z have?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 17, 2013
When Kim Kardashian was in labor she asked what that was.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 15, 2013