I would 100% get cremated if one of the options was “Just Enough Left To Pretend To Blow The Dust Off An Old Book You Found In The Attic So It Shimmers In The Splashes of Light”
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 12, 2019
“Thoughts and prayers” is the “You should smile more” of helping.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 12, 2019
Why do we PARK on driveways but DRIVE away our closest friends slowly and seemingly methodically?
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 10, 2019
Hindsight is 20/20. But then again, so is next year.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 9, 2019
You can tell by how often I delete my own tweets that I’m pro-choice.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 9, 2019
I’m all for a “Home Alone” reboot just as long as everything is exactly the same as the original and 8-year-old Macaulay Culkin is played by 38-year-old Macaulay Culkin.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 7, 2019