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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Author: Sam Grittner

Posted on September 4, 2019November 8, 2019

When you ask for the Rachel and they give you the Dolezal https://t.co/NaPWDXRpGe

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 5, 2019

Posted on September 3, 2019November 8, 2019

who me? well, since you asked, my plan is to work 7 days a week so I can rent a room I will never own and owe banks thousands of dollars until I get shot to death at a mall or a club or a garlic festival UNLESS I get really lucky and the oceans rise so fast that I drown first

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 4, 2019

Posted on August 17, 2019November 8, 2019

It’s your constitutional right to die in a McDonald’s.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 18, 2019

Posted on August 16, 2019November 8, 2019

But what if- and hear me out on this- Mexico pays for it? https://t.co/o5Dhq3iNZ5

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 16, 2019

Posted on August 15, 2019November 8, 2019

If we can afford to buy another fucking country we can afford to pay for every American’s healthcare. https://t.co/QstAE5j6dq

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 15, 2019

Posted on August 15, 2019November 8, 2019

Does the end of the world always take this long?

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) August 15, 2019

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