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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on September 18, 2016September 20, 2016

[leaving rap battle]
I feel betrayed but god damn my therapist can flow

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 18, 2016

Posted on September 17, 2016September 20, 2016

This Sully protest rally is growing bigger by the minute pic.twitter.com/7xpdopwjCH

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 17, 2016

Posted on September 16, 2016September 17, 2016

Nothing would make me happier than the day after Hillary is sworn in and Barack Obama reveals he's actually 3 Kenyan kids in a trench coat.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 16, 2016

Posted on September 15, 2016September 17, 2016

If you need to break into a white person's house just wait until the sun is setting. You've got a 20 minute window while we pick the filter.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 15, 2016

Posted on September 13, 2016September 15, 2016

My parrot died today. Its last words were, "Fuck, I think my parrot is about to die."

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 13, 2016

Posted on September 12, 2016September 15, 2016

May your life be as long as a CVS receipt.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 12, 2016

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