"I'm a writer." – Anyone that has access to a keyboard
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 29, 2014
I'd rather attend a TED talk about cryogenics from Iggy Azalea than stand in line for Black Friday.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 28, 2014
"Before we say Grace, Sam, Grandma wants to know why you unfollowed her."
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 28, 2014
Gather the kids the turkey is almost done 3D printing
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 27, 2014
*spends too much time playing harmonica during sex*
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 26, 2014
If you didn't know the outcome of the Ferguson grand jury decision before it was announced then you haven't been paying attention.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 25, 2014