Most exciting part about 2015: it won't be 2014
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 6, 2014
Time travelers will treat 2014 like vacationing families treat Detroit.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 5, 2014
Let's make sure to light that tree tonight and start celebrating an old white man who breaks into your house and is regarded as a hero.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 4, 2014
"Yeah, well, I'm not 'most people'." – Most people
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 3, 2014
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" shouldn't be standard operating procedure for the police.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 1, 2014
The older I get the more life feels like I'm just killing time between meals.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) November 30, 2014