You're more likely to die of embarrassment than Ebola. Calm down.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) October 4, 2014
Ladies love it when you tell them the sex was spooktacular.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 30, 2014
BROOKLYN SIDEWALK: A Love Story pic.twitter.com/Il3VDdWehn
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) October 2, 2014
No paper cut is an accident. Trees want revenge, they're just extremely patient.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 28, 2014
I could be a parent. I'm really good at saying someone's name two times in a row then shouting it.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 27, 2014
Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 26, 2014