I'm starting to think iTunes doesn't really need all these updates, it just wants attention and your validation.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 30, 2013
I put my pants on like anybody else: when I absolutely have to and not always then
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 29, 2013
NEW Häagen-Dazs® FLAVORS:
*He's Not Calling You Back
*She Was Just Being Nice
*Walnut Surprise!
*You're Going to Die Alone, Have S'More— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 25, 2013
If cats really had nine lives you'd see so many more of them doing extreme sports or bank heists.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 24, 2013
REMEMBER THE RULES TO SLEEP:
1) Shut your eyes
2) Lie down
3) Check your phone for 6 hours
4) Question everything until your alarm goes off— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 23, 2013
Just never show up to a knife fight.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 23, 2013