REJECTED NAMES FOR ARMS:
*Longies
*Hand holders
*Reverse legs
*Elbow tentacles
*Swingers
*Punch machines
*Hug factories
*Orms— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 10, 2013
*gathers kids around for spooky story*
*turns on the news and leaves*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 9, 2013
Barack, you're not running for another term. Time to get real. Call up Suge Knight and have him dangle Boehner over a ledge. Shutdown over.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 9, 2013
*Daft Punk remove their helmets*
*two separate squirrels emerge, smoking cigarettes*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 7, 2013
imagine being the duck that lost the recipe for bread
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 5, 2013
BREAKING BAD FINALE THEORY:
They were all dead the whole time.
Walter White is the Smoke Monster.
Hank is the Island.
Newhart wakes up.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 29, 2013