It weirds me the fuck out that Will Smith is raising his Looper.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 30, 2013
Crumbs in your bed is the worst because you're completely surrounded by food but no you aren't.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 29, 2013
If you sync up the new DAFT PUNK album to the new ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT episodes, you can hear crystal clear just how white you are.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 25, 2013
The Xbox One will completely revolutionize how quickly our children will get diabetes.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2013
If you pour just enough cocaine on an old typewriter, Quentin Tarantino will appear within three minutes.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2013
"It's a show about nothing." – God explaining life
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2013