I will donate the rest of my life to any Democrat who brings a live shark to the State of the Union tonight.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 30, 2018
The guy next to me at the CVS self-checkout was having problems with the machine and announced to me if it fucked with him one more time he was going to go “full Robocop on its ass.”
The fucking machine worked and now I have to go my grave wondering what I was about to see.— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 29, 2018
The founder of IKEA has died. May he rest in pieces.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 28, 2018
I trust his word 100x more than Mitch McConnell's. https://t.co/HmKcSh97gK
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 26, 2018
JAMES BOND: “You expect me to talk?”
GOLDFINGER: “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to like and subscribe.”— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 24, 2018
The 7 Stages of Good Grief:
1) Oh my
2) Oh my word
3) Golly gee
4) Oh my heavens
5) Lordy
6) Woof
7) Yowza— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 25, 2018