— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 26, 2017
To everyone that can’t be or isn’t around their family today: I’m sorry and I wish you the best.
To everyone that is or has to be around their family today: I’m sorry and I wish you the best.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 25, 2017
DAD: Pass the stuffing
ME: *waits 20 minutes*
DAD: What’s the hold up?
ME: Give me $20
DAD: Are you out of your mind?
ME: Do you want me to explain Net Neutrality or not?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 24, 2017
the princess and the pea but it's just me, this futon and some yogurt
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 22, 2017
JOSEPH AND MARY: We’ll stay in the manger, we don’t care
INN MANAGER: Fine. Just don’t make a scene— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 22, 2017
Dress for the job you’ve never had to work one day in your life for. pic.twitter.com/Y2R24wuakF
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 20, 2017