Paul Ryan is living proof that if you’re consistently mediocre, always evil, and stay true to your principles of having no principles, your dreams of getting a second-garage at the expense of the sick and poorest of the country will happen.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 19, 2017
PAUL RYAN: “This tax bill will help *kicks puppy* working class families *slits orphan’s throat* by giving them as much as $600 *pushes old lady down flight of stairs* to spend any way *tells all spoilers for THE LAST JEDI* they see fit.”
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 19, 2017
Pac-Man taught me three valuable lessons about life:
• You need a constant supply of fruit
• Always be open for change; you’ll always be going in new directions
• Ghosts are real and they will never stop chasing you— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 17, 2017
Lol at movie theaters that search your bag for snacks. Please give me more credit than that, I’m 35-years-old (I’m about to see STAR WARS and I have two different cheese plates duct-taped to my thighs).
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2017
https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/941872721197260800
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 14, 2017