Tiny hands. No heart. Can't win.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2016
Donald Trump's favorite sex position is reverse-racism.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 21, 2016
Depression doesn't run in my family, it Usain Bolt's.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 20, 2016
the ice bucket challenge but with hot dog water
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 19, 2016
Scarecrows seem like a ridiculous amount of work just to trick a bird.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 17, 2016
GOTH OLYMPIC EVENTS:
• Marathon brooding
• Wrestling emotions
• Synchronized burning your poetry before anyone corrupts it by reading it— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 16, 2016