Skip to content

Sam Grittner.COM

Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

  • Home
    • Resume
    • Contact
  • Schedule
  • Writing
    • Joke of the Day
      • Tweets I Sometimes Enjoy
    • Published Works
    • Lists
    • Essays
    • TONIGHT ON ‘GIRLS’
  • Pictures
    • Headshots
    • Funny Friends
    • Drawings
    • Photos For Sale
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Scroll down to content

Posts

Posted on May 13, 2015May 22, 2015

Man I love it when I'm in the zone. Which one? Doesn't matter to me. Friend zone, autozone, ozone, calzone. Zone me like a permit.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 13, 2015

Posted on May 12, 2015May 22, 2015

baptism by iced coffee

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 12, 2015

Posted on May 11, 2015May 22, 2015

I want salsa in the sheets and extra guac in the streets.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 11, 2015

Posted on May 8, 2015May 22, 2015

INTERVIEW TIP: Impress your potential employer by demonstrating how laid-back you are by not showing up for the interview

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 8, 2015

Posted on May 7, 2015May 8, 2015

To make a new Old Spice name, mix a description of nature with a violent action
Examples:
Arctic Thrust
Breeze Assailant
Forest Chokehold

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 7, 2015

Posted on May 6, 2015May 8, 2015

Make a band name by combining your biggest fear and the thing you love the most, mine is COMMITMENT CLOWNS.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2015

Posts navigation

Previous page Page 1 … Page 174 Page 175 Page 176 … Page 291 Next page

Archives

  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Writing
  • Pictures
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Proudly powered by WordPress