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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posted on June 30, 2014July 4, 2014

HOBBY LOBBY'S NEW SLOGAN: "Finally, a safe haven to burn witches while picking up glitter!"

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 30, 2014

Posted on June 29, 2014July 4, 2014

DINNER FOR BRUNCH

DINNER FOR BRUNCH

An exclusive review of a restaurant so exclusive that it might not even exist.

Posted on June 29, 2014July 4, 2014

"We can eat this type of rock." – Person who first discovered potatoes

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 29, 2014

Posted on June 27, 2014July 4, 2014

Good night. Don't let the bed bugs or Luis Suárez bite.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 27, 2014

Posted on June 26, 2014July 4, 2014

https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/482362367934996480

Posted on June 25, 2014July 4, 2014

https://twitter.com/SamGrittner/status/481926935833223168

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