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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posts

Posted on May 2, 2014May 5, 2014

How awesome would it be if Daft Punk took off their helmets only to reveal Tupac and Biggie?

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 2, 2014

Posted on April 28, 2014May 5, 2014

Rock beats paper. Paper beatboxes. Paper gets noticed. Paper signs with a label for millions. Paper wins. Paper rocks.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 28, 2014

Posted on April 28, 2014May 5, 2014

Can't sleep. Can't stop thinking about how they signaled Batman during the day.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 28, 2014

Posted on April 25, 2014May 5, 2014

"Is Bread there?"
"No, I'm sorry you must have the wrong number, this is Brad."
"Thanks anyway."
*hangs up*
*ducks turn the phone book page*

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 25, 2014

Posted on April 24, 2014May 5, 2014

Anxiety feels like trying to open the plastic bags at the grocery store while wearing oven mitts covered in Vaseline.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 24, 2014

Posted on April 23, 2014May 5, 2014

"The end." – Quentin Tarantino starting a bedtime story

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 24, 2014

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