"Yes, 9-1-1, I'm trying to buy some semi-automatic rifles in peace but a transgender person went in the shitter and I'm scared for my life."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 23, 2016
"9-1-1, state your emergency."
"There's an encampment of clowns in the forest behind my house"
"Set the forest on fire & pray there's a God"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 1, 2015
"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
"I accidentally kept my eyes open when I sneezed and now I can taste time."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 18, 2014
"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
"I've never felt this sick before in my life."
"What are your symptoms?"
"*starts beatboxing*"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 17, 2014