Still trying to figure out what to get America for its birthday… what do you get for the country that has everything but only shares it with 300 or so of its people?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 4, 2018
Happy Birthday, Jesus! I got you a ton of fresh sins that are truly to die for
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 25, 2016
You're one day closer to death AND you get free cake? What’s not to like about birthdays?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2016