A random woman was berating me for having the audacity to look at my cellphone while I was walking down the sidewalk. She yelled, “THE CELLPHONE ISN’T THE WORLD!” three times before she hit her face walking into a tree because she wasn’t paying attention. God is real.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 25, 2018
Depression is when your soul goes on airplane mode.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 27, 2016
*stares at cellphone almost all-day, every day*
"Well, time to watch that fictional show about zombies."
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 15, 2015
Cellphones are teddy bears for adults.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 13, 2014
I would only be worried if the NSA was recording the conversations I pretend to have on my cellphone to avoid talking to actual people.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 6, 2013