Santa is the perfect representation of capitalism: an old, fat white guy gets all the credit for bringing joy to the world even though he only works one day a year and his sweatshops full of elves do all the hard labor and aren’t allowed to unionize. Bring me Santa’s head.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 24, 2018
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 26, 2017
JOSEPH AND MARY: We’ll stay in the manger, we don’t care
INN MANAGER: Fine. Just don’t make a scene— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 22, 2017
EXECUTIONER: “You have been charged with refusal of the Merry Christmas Compliance law, any last words?”
ME: “Happy Holidays, bitch.”— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 19, 2017
Happy Birthday, Jesus! I got you a ton of fresh sins that are truly to die for
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 25, 2016
I saw mommy kissing Slenderman
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 24, 2016