No Christmas presents this year kids, Santa is an immigrant with no legal documentation to prove he's not part of ISIS.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 3, 2016
A partridge AND a pear tree? In this economy???
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 2, 2016
Instead of "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas," I prefer to use the non-controversial, "We're all dying slowly but you look great today!"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 21, 2016
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Good boy
Very good boy
– Dog Santa's List— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 25, 2015
Every year for Christmas I ask Satan to cure me of my dyslexia.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 3, 2015
ISIS is so stupid. Don't they realize Santa is watching them? Lots of coal for those dummies.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 23, 2015