Skip to content

Sam Grittner.COM

Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

  • Home
    • Resume
    • Contact
  • Schedule
  • Writing
    • Joke of the Day
      • Tweets I Sometimes Enjoy
    • Published Works
    • Lists
    • Essays
    • TONIGHT ON ‘GIRLS’
  • Pictures
    • Headshots
    • Funny Friends
    • Drawings
    • Photos For Sale
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video

Tag: Cocaine

Posted on May 16, 2018May 18, 2018

Donald Trump Jr. is what you get when you try and make a person out of forged permission slips and cocaine.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2018

Posted on February 4, 2018February 6, 2018

COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
DON JR: There's not a body in the trunk
COP: Is that cocaine on the passenger seat?
DON JR: That's a bag of fake news
COP: Step out of the car, sir
DON JR: Here
COP: What's this?
DON JR: It's a memo
COP: Sir, this is a Marmaduke comic strip

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 4, 2018

Posted on July 2, 2013July 12, 2013

Cocaine is actually the crushed up bones of trust fund babies.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 2, 2013

Posted on May 17, 2013May 25, 2013

If you pour just enough cocaine on an old typewriter, Quentin Tarantino will appear within three minutes.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 17, 2013

Archives

  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Writing
  • Pictures
  • Podcasts
  • We’re All Gonna Die Tonight!
  • Video
Proudly powered by WordPress