Love to see a $50,000 Velcro wallet debate an anthropomorphic mimosa pic.twitter.com/8CZhLH3jLI
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 8, 2019
I’ve been buying floss when it’s just been inside of me this whole time? https://t.co/sk3UiEN0RU
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 6, 2019
The closest thing I have to a savings account is the drawer full of ketchup packages leftover from takeout.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 5, 2019
Counterpoint: you’re a fucking idiot pic.twitter.com/aBf00yUgdP
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 3, 2019
Shoes? Laced.
Teeth? Brushed.
Fish? Gutted.
Eggs? Scrambled.
Gas? Pumped.
Crying? Always.
Death? Inevitable.
WiFi? Shoddy.
Bird? Watching.
Tree fetish? Still coming to terms with.
Satan? Not today.
Dressing? Thousand.
Adult braces? Gleaming.
Questions? Answered.— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 2, 2019
Any man you see dressed as The Joker today, you’re legally allowed to push down the stairs when he starts dancing on them.
— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 31, 2019