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Sam Grittner

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Tag: Joke of the Day

Posted on November 7, 2019November 8, 2019

Love to see a $50,000 Velcro wallet debate an anthropomorphic mimosa pic.twitter.com/8CZhLH3jLI

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 8, 2019

Posted on November 6, 2019November 8, 2019

I’ve been buying floss when it’s just been inside of me this whole time? https://t.co/sk3UiEN0RU

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 6, 2019

Posted on November 4, 2019November 8, 2019

The closest thing I have to a savings account is the drawer full of ketchup packages leftover from takeout.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 5, 2019

Posted on November 3, 2019November 8, 2019

Counterpoint: you’re a fucking idiot pic.twitter.com/aBf00yUgdP

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 3, 2019

Posted on November 2, 2019November 8, 2019

Shoes? Laced.
Teeth? Brushed.
Fish? Gutted.
Eggs? Scrambled.
Gas? Pumped.
Crying? Always.
Death? Inevitable.
WiFi? Shoddy.
Bird? Watching.
Tree fetish? Still coming to terms with.
Satan? Not today.
Dressing? Thousand.
Adult braces? Gleaming.
Questions? Answered.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) November 2, 2019

Posted on October 31, 2019November 8, 2019

Any man you see dressed as The Joker today, you’re legally allowed to push down the stairs when he starts dancing on them.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) October 31, 2019

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