Dress for the job you’ve never had to work one day in your life for. pic.twitter.com/Y2R24wuakF
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 20, 2017
Paul Ryan is living proof that if you’re consistently mediocre, always evil, and stay true to your principles of having no principles, your dreams of getting a second-garage at the expense of the sick and poorest of the country will happen.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 19, 2017
PAUL RYAN: “This tax bill will help *kicks puppy* working class families *slits orphan’s throat* by giving them as much as $600 *pushes old lady down flight of stairs* to spend any way *tells all spoilers for THE LAST JEDI* they see fit.”
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 19, 2017
Pac-Man taught me three valuable lessons about life:
• You need a constant supply of fruit
• Always be open for change; you’ll always be going in new directions
• Ghosts are real and they will never stop chasing you— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 17, 2017
Lol at movie theaters that search your bag for snacks. Please give me more credit than that, I’m 35-years-old (I’m about to see STAR WARS and I have two different cheese plates duct-taped to my thighs).
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2017
[the year is 2020]
“Welcome to McBurgerFoxWalmart, to receive your daily ration, insert one poor into the grinding machine. If you are able to read, the laser dogs are already coming for you. Obey the Supreme leader or we will burn your family. To add fries, give us your eyes.”— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2017