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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Tag: Kids

Posted on June 4, 2018June 12, 2018

“You know how kids love horses that are forever frozen while screaming? What if I told you there was a way to make them go in circles after we impale them AND make a profit?” – Inventor of the carousel

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 5, 2018

Posted on August 13, 2016August 14, 2016

Waiting for this kid to return so I can see if they need an intern pic.twitter.com/aSZeO7OCQ5

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 13, 2016

Posted on May 15, 2014May 24, 2014

Movies are so fake, like anybody really answers a phone or has kids anymore

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 16, 2014

Posted on May 21, 2013May 25, 2013

The Xbox One will completely revolutionize how quickly our children will get diabetes.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 21, 2013

Posted on February 5, 2013

Kids should be kept on their toes at all times. That's why I propose that there should be one real horse on every Merry-Go-Round.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 5, 2013

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