I won’t be happy until they put tiny people in these tiny chairs opening an even tinier pizza box filled with a tinier table, chairs, and people opening a microscopic pizza box filled with microscopic tables, chairs and people opening a pizza box that’s only seen on a molecula- https://t.co/CYtW8IPLQ1
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 28, 2018
We need to play more head games with ISIS. Have we delivered them pizzas they haven't ordered yet? That'll drive them absolutely bananas.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 27, 2016
The only thing that could possibly be more divisive than this election would be if we as a nation tried to order a pizza together.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 27, 2016
*uses pitchfork to eat three slices of pizza simultaneously*
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 16, 2015
If I was a giant, I'd pay a basketball player to slam dunk pizzas in my mouth all day long.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) June 11, 2014
If Captain America doesn't have a pizza hidden behind his shield at all times, he isn't fighting for the America I want to live in.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 30, 2014