DOCTOR: Melania was hit by a bus. We did the best we could but I urge you to say your goodbye now
****
TRUMP: My love, I had 308 votes in th— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 25, 2017
Maybe if we hide the Constitution in Trump's copy of Mein Kampf he'll accidentally read it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 22, 2017
Someone should explain to Trump how high the ratings would be for his impeachment process and this whole thing could just work itself out.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 13, 2017
*trump finishes watching SNL*
TRUMP: Nuke it
PENCE: Your wife & son live in NY
T: I'll buy new ones. Is Tiffany there?
P: Yes
T: Light it up— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 12, 2017
So, to be clear: the ban that wasn't a ban until it was a ban was banned and all attempts to ban the ban of the ban have been disbanded.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 10, 2017
Super Bowl prediction: None of us will be alive in three months
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) February 2, 2017