I do my best thinking in the shower and the worst living outside of it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 4, 2016
when u enjoy getting ur dick slammed in a car door pic.twitter.com/MyeUsbYI5O
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 3, 2016
POLICE OFFICER: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
ME: "Looks like someone didn't get their midnight kiss. Come here you big lug."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 1, 2016
If you hold a turtle close enough to your ear you can hear the strangers around you asking what the fuck is wrong with you.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) January 2, 2016