If you see a clown in a sewer drain you don't wait for it to strike up a conversation. You climb down first and say hi. Manners matter.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 21, 2017
ASSEMBLE THE BECKY VOLTRON pic.twitter.com/KwpZgzy9PA
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 15, 2017
Hello, my name is Paw Rudd! I'm a bodega cat and I'm here to brighten your day! But remember: threaten my livelihood and I'll eat you alive! pic.twitter.com/SXI3Bg3D5E
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 13, 2017
Nothing would be funnier in life than if Ted Cruz liked porn on Twitter again tonight on purpose. Like that's just his new thing.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 13, 2017
Can we replace the emergency broadcast signal with the Monster Mash? You'd know nuclear war is imminent but also get to enjoy a kooky moment
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 10, 2017
IF CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL GIVE ME A SIGN!
*texas goes underwater*
ANYTHING AT ALL
*california burns down*
*florida drowns*
IS THIS THING ON?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 9, 2017