SINISTER VOICE: “Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez SAYS she didn’t have it easy growing up- but would a woman who’s trying to fight for everyday Americans own so many of THESE?
*cut to video montage of AOC in shoes* Vote Republican: we still wanna kill your grandma and harvest her fluids”— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 4, 2019
“I’m sorry. Oh I’m so so sorrry but we needed that in the form of a question. I’m sorry.” – Alex Quebec
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 2, 2019
ALL OF US IN UNISON: “And stay out!”
*2018 gets up and tries to wipe the dirt and dust off while the saloon doors keep swinging*— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) January 1, 2019
My five year plan is to make it through 2019.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 31, 2018
SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN,
does whatever a spider can,
spider thoughts and spider things,
spider queens and spider kings,
charlotte's web? that shit was tight,
walks in your mouth while you're asleep at night,
eats his kids, cleans his plate,
spider-man can spider-relate— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 29, 2018
Santa is the perfect representation of capitalism: an old, fat white guy gets all the credit for bringing joy to the world even though he only works one day a year and his sweatshops full of elves do all the hard labor and aren’t allowed to unionize. Bring me Santa’s head.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) December 24, 2018