On your first day in prison go up to the biggest guy there and plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. He’s been hurt and let down time and time again. It’s time for the healing to begin.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) October 13, 2018
Does he know this isn’t Google? https://t.co/DYtDCnIrxi
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 5, 2018
The amount of racists out there doesn’t surprise me anywhere near as much as the fact that so many white people are looking for any excuse they can get to set the things they own on fire.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 4, 2018
You think you're tired of me? Buddy, I am me.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 2, 2018
(to the tune of Beastie Boys’ GIRLS)
Birds, all I really want is birds
And in the morning it’s birds
‘Cause in the evening it’s birdsBirds, to eat the fishes
Birds, to shit on my car
Birds, to eat the bread bread
Birds, and in the Arby’s parking lotBirds, birds, birds, birds
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2018
My ideal woman:
• Lives in a bog or a ditch
• Is keen on animal sacrifices
• Speaks only in tongues
• Knows her way around shanks
• Shares the dang remote when we’re watching Netflix!
• Isn’t sure whose blood she’s covered in— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) August 30, 2018