World War Pee
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 14, 2018
Please hurry up, Robert Mueller. It feels like America wore a wire to a drug deal, with the safe word "bumblebee" to get the cops to rush in but it's been 3 hours and now the dealers are grilling us about why we keep saying bumblebee while they pull out sharper and sharper knives
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 12, 2018
*analyzing*
*analysis complete: not toast:*
ZUCKERBERG: "Hello, Not Toast" pic.twitter.com/FrBTGVqWTH— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 11, 2018
How the fuck does Barack Obama have such an endless supply of self-restraint? Not a single tweet to the President asking, “So, Donny, how’s your day going?” Trump would literally explode and part of this nightmare would finally be over. I don’t get it.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 10, 2018
from “the FEEL GOOD show VOL. 1” at the Bell House. Photo by Mindy Tucker
Weekends in my 20's: I'm gonna stay up all night and get so fucked up
Weekends in my 30's: I slept in past 9am? I fucked my whole day up
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) April 7, 2018