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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Author: Sam Grittner

Posted on September 16, 2019November 8, 2019

Stop calling it “P.C. culture” and call it what it is: “Stop Being a Shitty Person culture”

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 16, 2019

Posted on September 11, 2019November 8, 2019

My Uber driver just told the other passenger in the car to get off her phone or he would kick her out.

UBER DRIVER: “No one interrupts Lizzo”

Is $100 enough for a tip?

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 11, 2019

Posted on September 9, 2019November 8, 2019

For – and I cannot stress this enough – fuck’s sake

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 10, 2019

Posted on September 8, 2019November 8, 2019

When I can’t find a woman’s foot pic.twitter.com/LZNnXz9y9J

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 8, 2019

Posted on September 7, 2019November 8, 2019

Technically, a millennial is anyone who had to learn cursive but never had to use it.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 8, 2019

Posted on September 6, 2019November 8, 2019

I don’t think ghosts are moaning and screaming to try and scare anyone. I think that’s just how anyone would act if they haven’t eaten since they died.

— patrickswayze’spatrickgravy (@SamGrittner) September 7, 2019

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