Sometimes I find myself wishing there were more hours in a day then I remember time doesn't exist then I check my watch and realize I'm late
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 27, 2016
When I die I'm donating my body to science but only if they promise to use it as a piñata.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 26, 2016
"This weekend is a celebration of a man who returns from the dead to save humanity."
"We don't know that Jon Snow is alive, slow your roll."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 25, 2016
Cate Blanchett with Cate Blanchett starring as Cate Blanchett in "Cate Blanchett" with performances by Cate Blanchett and Cate Blanchett.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 24, 2016
Burying a pile of books tonight, just in case Trump gets elected.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 24, 2016
Millennials are selfish & entitled, said the generation that made a cure for old men lacking boners while the ice caps disappeared forever.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 23, 2016