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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on November 17, 2015November 21, 2015

Your first day in prison, you go up to the biggest guy there and you start a 'zine. You'll be respected and have an outlet for your poetry.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 18, 2015

Posted on November 16, 2015November 17, 2015

GOP: All life matters at the moment of conception
SYRIAN REFUGEES: Please help us
GOP: Where would you get such a fucking crazy idea?

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 16, 2015

Posted on November 15, 2015November 17, 2015

*stares at cellphone almost all-day, every day*
"Well, time to watch that fictional show about zombies."

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 15, 2015

Posted on November 13, 2015November 17, 2015

Don't talk to me until I've had my morning.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 13, 2015

Posted on November 10, 2015November 17, 2015

Life is like a bicycle, someone stole mine a long time ago so now I ride a horse.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 10, 2015

Posted on November 9, 2015November 10, 2015

sweet jesus this lady's perfume is stronger than any of my passwords

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) November 9, 2015

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