DONALD TRUMP: "America has the biggest ghost problem in the world and only I know who to call."
MEGYN KELLY: "The question was about Iran"— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 7, 2015
SATAN: The darkness will consume you
ME: Rad
S: There's no turning back
M: Cool
S: The process can't be reversed
M: Are we doing this?— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 6, 2015
if your haunted attic doesn't have a rocking horse that rocks itself please don't waste my fucking time
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 3, 2015
I'm writing a movie about this lady who's obsessed with the game, OREGON TRAIL. It's called, "The Girl With The Wagon Tattoo"
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) August 2, 2015
*job interview*
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 30, 2015
Yelp doesn't let me review constellations? That's bullshit. Zero stars.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 29, 2015