I want salsa in the sheets and extra guac in the streets.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 11, 2015
INTERVIEW TIP: Impress your potential employer by demonstrating how laid-back you are by not showing up for the interview
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 8, 2015
To make a new Old Spice name, mix a description of nature with a violent action
Examples:
Arctic Thrust
Breeze Assailant
Forest Chokehold— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 7, 2015
Make a band name by combining your biggest fear and the thing you love the most, mine is COMMITMENT CLOWNS.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2015
"It's a drug where you talk about nothing!" – Seinfeld pitching cocaine
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 6, 2015
I put my pants on like anyone else: at 4am while I'm wearing my night vision goggles.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) May 5, 2015