"Here's the idea."
"Ok."
"It's EXACTLY like a Sharknado, except this time.."
"Yes?"
"It's a Squidblizzard."
*gets check for $20 million*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 16, 2013
I keep trying to shake what my momma gave me but I'm realizing I'm going to have anxiety forever
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 14, 2013
"FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!" – Carmen San Diego after enabling LOCATION SETTINGS on her iPhone
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 12, 2013
who the fuck is santa to judge me?
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 11, 2013
Not all British people are Hobbits but all Hobbits are British.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 11, 2013
Tennessee Williams is my least favorite Williams' sister
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 9, 2013