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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on July 17, 2018July 30, 2018

Donald Trump Jr is like if a protein shake and a DUI were a person.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 17, 2018

Posted on July 16, 2018July 30, 2018

PICTURED: The President of the United States and Donald Trump pic.twitter.com/zTqZX2CKN6

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 16, 2018

Posted on July 14, 2018July 30, 2018

You wander through the forest and come across Smokey the Bear. You see him burning piles of leaves. Aghast, you turn and stare at him. He solemnly whispers, “Only YOU can prevent forest fires” as he hands you the knife. He smiles as you stab him to death. He is finally free.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 15, 2018

Posted on July 13, 2018July 30, 2018

Anybody want to '96 tonight? That's where you listen to 'Wonderwall' and pretend like you have an economic future.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 13, 2018

Posted on July 12, 2018July 30, 2018

Great news: I’m severely depressed again! Fortunately I have a little trick up my sleeve called, “Letting it dictate my entire day.”

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 12, 2018

Posted on July 10, 2018July 30, 2018

I’m trying my best to stay optimistic but *vaguely gestures at everything*

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) July 10, 2018

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