HIGHLIGHTS FROM CONVERSATION W/POTENTIAL LANDLORD:
• He had the “#1 rap song in Romania for 2 years” (refused to tell me its name)
• Is convinced every woman in Williamsburg is a lesbian (but he doesn’t judge)
• Told me the best places for “a $15 Charlie Brown” (aka hand job)— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 10, 2018
An MTA worker just physically escorted a guy out of the last train on the Q and while he was being walked away he yelled, “I WASN’T THROWING HOT DOGS AT PEOPLE! I WAS TOSSING THEM!” God bless you, Verbiage.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 8, 2018
My Uber driver just ran three red lights and hasn’t said a single word to me. If he hits a fruit cart and keeps driving I’m gonna have to marry him.
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 7, 2018
The rich https://t.co/Tk1du5mx3r
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 6, 2018
Time to pour one out for Scott Pruitt *pours bottle of bleach directly into the ocean*
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 5, 2018
Still trying to figure out what to get America for its birthday… what do you get for the country that has everything but only shares it with 300 or so of its people?
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) July 4, 2018