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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Category: Joke of the Day

Posted on December 14, 2017December 15, 2017

Opinions are like assholes: without Net Neutrality you’ll have to pay extra to see either of them.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 14, 2017

Posted on December 13, 2017December 14, 2017

If I ever own a yacht it’ll be called the S.S.RI

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 13, 2017

Posted on December 12, 2017December 14, 2017

I'm so stoked that we brought new writers on for the season finale of 2017.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 13, 2017

Posted on December 11, 2017December 14, 2017

I've felt like shit all day so I made some semi-inspirational quotes from Paul Rudd. Feel free to use and share them pic.twitter.com/J7ODrmOsem

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 11, 2017

Posted on December 10, 2017December 14, 2017

Anyone can become the CEO of Hot Topic. All you have to do is strangle the current one to death with a chain wallet.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 10, 2017

Posted on December 4, 2017December 6, 2017

GOP PRIORITIES:
• Elect a child molester to the Senate
• Protect Rapist-Racist President
• Pass tax cuts for billionaires
• Destroy Social Security and Medicaid
• Legalize hunting the poor for sport
• Allow guns to become citizens
• Pass “Drown Orphans In Nearest Well” law

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) December 4, 2017

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