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Writer. Comedian. Space Whale.

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Posts

Posted on October 13, 2016October 18, 2016

I need an app that's just Michelle Obama reassuring me that everything is going to be okay.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 13, 2016

Posted on October 12, 2016October 18, 2016

Why would we believe women who are being honest about Trump sexually assaulting them? It's not like there's a tape of him bragging about it.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 12, 2016

Posted on October 11, 2016October 18, 2016

Never say the phrase "sexual conquest," unless you rode upon a mighty steed and thusly slayed a dragon before a Princess granted consent.

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 11, 2016

Posted on October 10, 2016

Walk into a mansion today and inform the owners that it's yours now. Happy Columbus Day!

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 10, 2016

Posted on October 9, 2016October 10, 2016

TRUMP: Black lives *looks at hand* mothers

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 10, 2016

Posted on October 9, 2016

TRUMP: Have I fantasized about my daughter? Definitely. Am I perfect? Probably. Am I God? Absolutely
REPORTER: The question was about ISIS

— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) October 9, 2016

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